These are two journal entries I wrote at work today while I was bored.  They fit into some hazy time in the past few months, and don’t really contain any important content.  I just wanted to develop a bit of what Qing’s been doing in the background (besides changing diapers) 🙂

Continue reading Qing Journal Random →

I’m a mom.

I’ve been a mom for over a month now, and before that, I had a 20 hour pre-show to being a mom.  And before THAT, I had 9 months of getting ready to be a mom.  And I’m still not ready.

I look down at this precious little creature who I also have to remember is the Jade Emperor, and I’ve never loved anybody this much.  My little Michael.  He’s totally turned my life upside down.  Everything I ever did or believed or wanted is cast in a new light.

Can I still be a Hunter?  Ever since I was old enough (too young, my dad says) I thought I should be because there were all these people who couldn’t defend themselves, and I could.  But now here’s this beautiful little person who can’t take care of himself at all, and he needs me to do it.  Not just to protect him, but to nurture him and show him the whole world.

Do I even still want to be?  I guess I do.  I still believe people with the power to make things better have a responsibility to use it.  Part of me wants to stop, to only go out to hunt when something threatens Michael, but I can’t do that.  The kind of person I am is the kind of person Michael will grow up with.  I have to be a good person, not just for myself, but for him.

I can’t work alone anymore.  If Brigid will ever decide to stop freezing me out, I’m more sympathetic to her point of view than I was.  Someone needs to lead the crusade, to be willing to take the fight to the monsters, but it can’t be me right now.  If she won’t, then I’ll give her back the house I never wanted and find my own place and I guess I’ll see what Morganna is doing.  The Diesel Fan Club isn’t the most directed group on earth, but they’re good people.

But even before I knew about Michael, I wanted something else for my life.  I felt bad about it, like I was betraying dad.  But then I realized he HAD more.  He had his school.  He had mom.  He had me.

What can I have?  My education up until now has been pretty directed, and my lifestyle doesn’t leave a lot of room to change that.  Maybe I should just keep being a bartender.  The money is good, and the hours are okay.  I work nights, so I’d mostly be gone when Mikey was asleep.

But finding a babysitter for the Jade Emperor is going to be tricky.

And speaking of the Jade Emperor, he’s hungry again.  Time to go.

(happens after Theresa leaves on Hawk Mask page 2)

I know she doesn’t really believe me about my baby. I can’t really blame her, though. It’s crazy. I wouldn’t believe it if it wasn’t happening to me.

It’ll be okay. I can’t imagine that my pregnancy will be any more normal than the conception, or anything else in my life. Sooner or later, there will be enough evidence that Theresa sees the truth.

Continue reading Qing Journal 7 →

Mother of God

Okay, so the scariest news is that I’m not just pregnant.  My child is going to grow up to be the Jade Emperor.  I guess he IS the Jade Emperor now, but he’s only a few thousand cells big at the moment, and he won’t have his powers until some time after he’s born.  At least that’s the way I think it’ll go.

Continue reading Qing Yuan Journal 6b →

(written the morning that Hawk Mask begins.)

Oberon… Oberon… Oberon…

What the hell am I supposed to do about Oberon?

Continue reading Qing Journal 6a →

(written late on the night Rough Neighborhood ended)

There’s so much now. This one day turned my world upside-down and spun it backwards. But somehow I came out of it with things making more sense than they have in a long time.

The passage I started to write at the office seems outmoded now. I’ll leave it in here for posterity or something, but I think I need to start all over.

Continue reading Qing Yuan Journal 5 →

I’m writing on an old memo pad I found. The pages will fit inside my diary. I’m sitting at a left-over desk in Theresa’s lab, which is roughly as big as the entire rest of CI, but it looks really bare right now. She’s got two stainless steel tables and some lab equipment. She turned the private office into a giant storage closet, but for now there’s not much in there. Even so, it’s grown a lot since how it looked when I left.

She’s so damn cute when she’s working. Every time she sees something unexpected, she chews on a lock of her hair makes a little pouting face. I have to seriously wonder if she realizes I’m still here, her concentration is so intense. She had to have good concentration for the Operatic kung-fu. I can do a little of that, but I was always more interested in the practical stuff. In fact, I threw dad over for Krav Maga and Jeet Kun Do for a while. He forgave me and admitted he’d studied Capoeria in his salad days. Continue reading Qing’s Journal →

I thought about posting all these separately, but that’d be a pain in the ass.   This loosely covers Qing Yaun’s first few days of life, although none of it is particularly canon unless Dragon decides he likes it.

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This is my first diary entry.  Xian Li Chang made all those other ones.  I’m Qing Yaun Chang.  (Legally, I won’t be Qing Yaun for a few months, but it’ll happen.)  I don’t really feel like a new person yet, but Delia says that will come. Continue reading Qing Yaun Journal 1, 2, & 3 →

Lydia Fear came today.  She wanted $1000 in return for her information.  How prosaic.  I was all set for some strange deal with consequences I couldn’t understand or something.  I think I like her.

But the news was disturbing.  The tattoo is the visual manifestation of a spiritual parasite grafted on to my soul.  It’s draining energy of some kind (Mana?  Life force?  Emotions?) for an unknown purpose. Continue reading Xian Li Journal #4 →