Less squeezed the bridge of his nose while he collected himself. He took a deep breath and rubbed the eye on the small of his back. “Johnny, if you cannot master this cipher you will not be able to communicate with me. The whole point of you infiltrating the Brimstone Barony is so that you can get me information. It might not be safe to meet me in person so you’ll have to encode your messages.”

Johnny flicked his pencil down onto the table, took a drink of the water that had been provided, and wished it was at least beer. “Who uses pencils anymore?” he complained. “I haven’t done math in, like, forever.”

“It’s hardly math,” intoned Less, failing to conceal his irritation. “It is addition, and sometimes subtraction.”

“That reminds me of a joke,” laughed Johnny, eager to leave the encryption lesson behind. “How is sex like math? Add a woman, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply!” Johnny grinned lasciviously as he ground his hips on the chair. “Is Mira going to be on this mission? She’s great undercover.”

“I’m sure she is but, as I’ve already explained, you are going to be operating alone. Mira’s position is too tenuous in the Duchy at the moment. She could not operate in the Barony without drawing suspicion, especially with her rivalry with Vicissitude. Your past dealings with her will be your way in.”

Johnny squirmed uncomfortably. Vicissitude was a harsh mistress.

“But don’t let yourself become exclusive to Sissy’s retinue,” warned Less. “You need to be a free agent in the Barony. We need to know who is part of the Barony, their names and Seemings, and what they are planning. Try to get close to Dame Nightshade. We don’t know anything about her besides she was in charge of the operation to take control of the Ishtar Gate.”

“When do I get a code-name?”

“When you pass the field test.”

“Oh, come on!” Johnny stood up and began singing the instrumental theme tune to the 007 films and mimed the famous brandishing of the Walther PPK. “Dun-di-di-dunnnn-dun-dun-dun…DEE DOO! Doo do dooooo!”

Less tried to give him what he wanted so they could get back to the lesson of the day. “Okay. How about ‘James’?”

“James!? How is that a code-name? It has to be cool like ‘Crackerjack’ or ‘Star Lord’, or ‘Watch Out Super Spy Ladies I Got a 12-inch Dick!’ Oh yeah!”

“Fine. Welcome to the Wardens, Agent 12.”