The Enchanted Arcanum Well of Trolling Wishes
Within the well in Arcanum sits the Eternal Collector. Taking the form of the skeleton of a long dead mage, he sits inside of the well collecting coins from wishes requested. On occasion, the Collector will grant a wish, or a portion of a powerful wish, as long as it doesn’t affect the free will of others. Be careful though, the Eternal Collector periodically will wish to ‘take a break’ and request that you take his place for a period of time if he feels the need. When you toss a coin into the well and make a wish, roll 1d20 to determine the result.
The chart below will detail those results:
1: You must take the place of the Eternal Collector in the Well for one hour, residing in the bucket at the bottom and collecting the coins of others. During that time you may not grant any wishes to others as you are not the actual Eternal Collector. Sorry, no having someone wish you out of the well.
2: Behold the Pied Piper! As you walk Arcanum a trail of rodents and insects follows in your path for one hour as if you are leading them in a parade.
3: Your hearing is impaired for one hour to the point where you are not able to hear the conversation unless someone speaks very, very loudly, even if they are whispering in your ear. What’s that sonny?!?
4: Cat got your tongue? It does now! Every time you go to speak you are unable to make any sound. This effect lasts for one hour. Anyone have a portable chalkboard?
5: When you attempt to enter buildings in Arcanum you are suddenly teleported to the door of a different building altogether. This effect lasts an hour. Whoops, Sorry for walking in on your bath your highness!
6: Well aren’t you just enchanting!…Wait, that’s because you’re a fairy! For the next hour, you are turned into a floating pixie of fairy-dusting awesome. That is awesome…Right? No? Oh…
7: Did someone just fart? Oh wait, it was you! For the next hour in every social situation you encounter you rip out the loudest, most obnoxiously smelly farts known to man. Dear gods, someone get the air freshener!
8: Why is everything so gosh darn big? Well, it’s because you’re so gosh darn small! For the next hour you are shrunk to the height of ten inches tall! Time to play toy soldier!
9: Hey, stop eating…No seriously, stop. Why can’t you stop eating? Oh, that’s right, you rolled a 9! For the next hour you are so insatiably hungry that nothing you eat will quell your appetite! Bon Appetit!
10: What the…Nothing happened? It’s a miracle. Wait, your coin is back in your hand, you get another chance, but there’s a catch. If you don’t get your wish, the lasting effect of not getting your wish is doubled. One hour becomes two, two becomes four, etc.
11: It’s a wish of a different color, namely you! Your skin changes randomly to every color of the rainbow, at least for the next hour anyway.
12: The beat of that music is so fantastic you just want to get up and dance! Wait, there’s no music? You just want to dance anyways, for the next hour at least. Get up and boogie!
13: Hey, you don’t feel any different. What gives? Well, what gives is that any time you, or anyone around you, sees you in any reflective surface for the next hour, you appear without clothing of any kind. Hey, it worked for an Emperor somewhere once, right?
14: For the next hour you are you…Just the rule 42 you. If you’re male, you’re now female. If you’re female, you’re now male.
15: You are now followed by Johnny Raincloud…Well, you can name the rain cloud whatever you’d like, but a rain cloud follows you, dumping torrents of rain on you for the next hour.
16: Hey, the world is spinning. No, wait, it’s just you. For the next hour your balance is all sorts of wrong, like the worst feeling of being drunk except you aren’t. Hey, watch your step around the docks.
17: Hey! Why…Are you…Talking like Shatner!?! It’s because you are overacting everything you do! For the next hour you can’t help but overemphasize every action you take, every conversation you have! And you aren’t even up for an Emmy!
18: Wow, it’s so trippy. Instead of your skin changing colors for the next hour, everything you see around you starts randomly changing colors like the worst head trip. It’s almost blinding!
19: Why are you suddenly so sleepy? Stop yawning. Wait, you can’t. For the next hour you have a form of Narcolepsy. During any situation you will randomly just…Fall asleep. Pleasant dreams?
20: Your wish is granted if the wish is simple enough. A portion of a larger wish may be granted. (I.E. You ask for the power to save someone’s life, you might be granted an epic weapon that will help make it possible)
This effect cannot be done more than once every twelve hours, essentially twice per day. The only exception is a 10 result as listed above, which grants you a redo.
For the wish you choose, don’t make it too grand. Enjoy the fun!